how to get laid:

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 16:35:35 GMT

**Disclaimer**
Although these "strategies" might work, please don't use them, i'm writing this as a complete joke.

how to get laid

by Adam Oultaw

chapter one the party:
When going to a party the first thing is to work on yourself. Look around, is there a bunch of loud obnoxious kids? then be the silent mysterious one. are there a bunch of shy quiet kids? then be the out going loud one, this will set you apart from the rest of the boys that night. you'll have to be socially confident. Now to pick the girl. find the sluttiest girl at the party, the one looking for the most attention. now look to what friends she has with her. undoubtedly there will be a girl who is slightly less of an attention whore. this girl, we'll call her sandy, will look up to the attention whore girl, but will be livivng in her shadow. This is the girl you wanna go after. becuase she will welcome the attention not directed at her usually slutty friend and will be more willing to try and hold your attention in whatever way possible. this strategy will work in two ways. not only will you probably get laid by "sandy" her friend will be jealous of "sandy"'s attention and will undoubtedly try and steal that attention the next time you see the girls out. and there for not only will you sleep with "sandy" you will also get on her slutty and probably hotter friend.

Chapter two the "friend":
This strategy takes more time to play out but in the end will have a better pay out. you know that gorgeous girl you have been trying to get for a while? ya forget her, find her friend. and start talking to her, be overly nice, pour it on. you might even wanna take the friend out on a date, hold her hand, cuddle, but make SURE you don't kiss her (it will ruin the plan). girls talk, always have, always will. undoubtedly the friend will tell the girl that you like how amazing you are, how nicely you treat her, and an assortment of other things. This will get the girl that you like thinking about you, it will put you in front of her. Eventually your paths will cross and you will be forced into her presence. at this point it is a good idea to tell the friend that you just wanna be friends and that you think she's a super nice girl, but you don't want anything else (this will avoid friendship drama between your crush and her friend). now that you are free, go for the original girl, she'll have seen and heard about how amazing you are and will be a much easier girl to obtain now.

lets start this off right

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 15:36:27 GMT

I pull myself from your lips
the six inches that now seperates us couldn't be more distant
i'm dragging the awkward silence for remnents of hope
goodbye stumbles off your lips in awkward footsteps of verbage
my reply is a slow blink and a downturned head
i'd be lying if i told you,
i hadn't heard the execution drummers before today
but nothing prepares you for the splatter of your skull
agains the cracked wall behind you
you exit the bed that we have so often frequented in fits of lust

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 13:59:07 GMT

xtuffx

how to get laid:

how to get laid

lets start this off right

journal will be friends only!